For you, Mr. Suarez, I recommend the absolute worst single malt that I could find- the Loch Dhu 10 YO. Quoted on Whiskyfun as Aqua Crematoria. If only your presence on the football landscape could become as sparse as Loch Dhu's on the single maltscape. Not even going to bother adding an image!
After an epic match that ended at 5-1, both sides have reason to drink a dram or two. I'll recommend some for what were my stars of the day- Iker Casillas and Arjen Robben. Casillas, you might do well to sit down with an Auchentoshan Three Wood, letting its toffee, fruit and sherry relieve your heavy heart. And you Robben- you with the untiring feet and relentless pace, to you I recommend something native to my country- Amrut Single Malt Cask Strength, bottled at a whopping 61.8% ABV!
On the eve of BJP's election victory, I tweeted Mr. Modi and recommended that he forgo a cup of tea and have a wee dram instead. Keeping in mind his personality and the famed chappan-ki-chhati, I recommended the PC11 by Bruichladdich- a strong, smoky malt that is sure to hit the throat well.
It got me thinking of whisky recommendations, and I wondered what malt could be commended to Mr. Rahul Gandhi. His party has suffered its worst defeat ever, and the jokes on him do not stop coming. I imagine the mood at his home to be sombre, with dark clouds gathered.
Bearing that in mind, I recommend he takes a dram of the Talisker Dark Storm. It's harsh, stormy notes would be good for a critical introspection, and its nostalgic wafts of rough seas will blend well with his own post-defeat moods.